‘Nuff Said September 17, 2009

I received this in an e-mail today & I couldn’t resist the yrge to share….. And people wonder why this isn’t my favorite place to shop:

The People Of…

  Those shoes are not blue nor are they suede.
 

How am I supposed to slap a ho without an essential part of my balanced breakfast? 
 
Nothing says sanitary like a parrot in the produce section… 
 
“What are you wearing sexy?” -Cowboy boots. “Ya, that’s hot.” – Pink velour pants.
“Ya I like that.” – a little green baby girl hoodie. “Oh damn, that sounds sexy.”
– and I kinda look like Gallagher. “Oh ya…wait…what?” 
 
Let’s run through my rock star list…. Mullet? – check; big sunglasses? – check; heart shaped tattoo? – u know I love my mom; Cut jean shorts? – are there any other type of shorts?; wife beater tied at the midriff – check;….. He is an official ROCK STAR! 
 
I think I just sharted… 
 
WTF??? 
 
Is that Rainbow Brite all grown up?? 
 
Is that a soccer ball?  A map of the solar system?  The structure of a sub-atomic particle? 
 
I have absolutely no idea what to say… 
 
Is that a gangster leotard? 
 
Everyone loves the man in the yellow go-go boots! 
 
Nice purse! 
 
Do you see the flame shoes buddy? That means I will not think twice about karate chopping you Into the middle of next week! 
 
AHH! I love the frozen food section… it tingles! 
 
Umm… excuse me, sir… 
 
At least the purse matches, right? 
 
Rawr… 
 
No, honey, it’s an ancient Egyptian symbol of prosperity, I swear! 
 
I was wondering why you suddenly smelled better. 
 
Every man has an NFL jersey AND pink short-shorts in their wardrobe, right? 
 
I have the same outfit, only in red. 
 
Just in case you had the urge… 
 
Now all we need is Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem for a reunion tour. 
 
Yes, you are seeing that correctly.  Old man + large, supple breast implants.

Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes September 14, 2009

I know it’s been a while. Life got in the way of my blogging. AHHHHHH! So much has been going on that I would not have been surprised if my head had exploded! But here is the biggest news since I’ve been gone.

So….. The Hubby is officially in the US Army. He will be leaving for training in Missouri in January. The kids and I will be moving in with my parents until he is out of training in May. Yes, that’s right…. I am 29, married, 2 kids, 2 dogs, mortgage and I’m going to be living with my parents for the first time since I was a teenager. Luckily my parents have mellowed significantly since then, but I still will miss having my own space. Don’t get me wrong, they are going above and beyond what they need to do as my parents. they didn’t have to volunteer their home and their assistance but they did so graciously and kindly. I’ll be forever greatful. But I’m going to miss my house.

Mostly what i find myself daydreaming about is where we will be stationed once he is done with training. I’ve looked over the list of locations countless times. There are places I prefer over others, but the only place that I would be upset about is Korea. I don’t have anything against Korea, I would love to be able to give my kids the opportunity to experience another culture for a couple of years, but that is the problem…… If the hubs has to go to Korea, we can’t go with him. So that means a 3 year tour of him in one country and us in another. I’m not exactly sure how expensive it is to fly one grown woman and 2 pre-teen children to Korea, but I’m assuming it’s more than $500 which is our normal vacation budget. So I spend a lot of time thinking “Anywhere but Korea. Anywhere but Korea.” We’ll see if my chant brings us luck.

In related news, I had to give notice at work last week. I was not excited for 2 main reasons:
1. I really like my job.
2. We’re in a recession people! Not the best time to be giving up a perfectly stable job.

If only I could do this job from California.

The kids weren’t excited to move at first. But then my daughter met her 4th grade teacher when school started a couple of weeks ago, and let’s just say neither of us were impressed. This lady is rude and can’t hide it…. not exactly a quality you look for in an elementary school teacher. My son is now happy to move because his middle school teachers are a mixed bag. Some good, some not so great and he’s willing to risk getting a worse batch in California just to be away from it here.

Well, I guess I should get back to my job. I’ll write again soon!